unending void (a poem)

this unending void within
nothing fills it
it lacks connection
there is a sordid numbness
that stays and travels along
that doesn’t allow me to breathe fully

i attempt to fill this lacuna
with everyday talks
with the voice from the radio
with the irrelevant conversations
with the absent invisible human images
without any warmth in my words
without empathy, or emotion

i walk expressionless
as i look at the meaninglessness
of my banal existence

~ ps

Nihilism (Poem)

A poem by Sahil Bhambri

Exert life than a void pray,
Gone my obey for: a lied rose,
Under the deep deep sky, may the sea beneath,
Felt all the existence of died prose.

Identity of expiring beyond, an illusion of soon,
Or the city lights, may the lights of so moon.
And eyes oh eyes of my, heed existence,
Who humane instincts to materialise; to disobey chosen persistence.

I stood the defeat ; as vanished as die,
All hopes, legacy, ideas meaningless; heard i,
I stood by god, to hail nothingness and death,
Thence i tasted sour on the soliloquy of celebrated Macbeth.

For when he says; god is dead,
Its innocence absurd that we are his murderer,
A cynic, anti-foundationalism, epistemic to crave for more and more, oh i read,
For all my beliefs came to bright blur.

Today, when i ask a theory of tree makes sound or not when fallen alone,
Exculpate not, for i myself flown in the most questionable known.
Today, when i ask a theory of Syssipus as a metaphor on existentialism,
Exculpate not, for i know more than seven colours of old prism.

Learner, me oh me, how i may counter not,
Nihilist not i, neither theory i ever caught.
I choose to choose, to see i see,
So; next when we revel, keep it over a beautiful night of spree.

this place is intimidating

no. i’m not talking about my house. it’s cozy here (luckily for me). i’m talking about this world. this earth on which we live. this tiny minuscule of an unending universe. this place is intimidating as there is so so much here for a man to know it all. and yet if you see keenly, there is almost nothing, for everything is just dust in the wind (remember the song?).

when i attempt to uncoil these numberless layers of knowledge in this world, i reach a state of what derrida calls “aporia”. you cannot really understand it. yeah, you may try to study the high patterns of these complex structures that work together to put us in a mode of wonder. but such an endeavor wouldn’t really yield to any tangible consequence. in most respects, you would find yourself deserted in a vast ocean of captivating whirlpools, without a sign of hope towards land.

so, shall i take this state of “aporia” as the natural state of being for the human lot? or can there be a higher order to this state to which we may subject ourselves too? jove knows, perhaps, or even he doesn’t.

we came out of nothing and we are sure of disappearing into oblivion. still, all that matters is here and now in this very life, because you may not get another. and so when i see people behaving eerily in anticipation of a nymph-full of an afterlife, i raise both my eyebrows and sigh.  it’s like not having the cake you got for a candy that waits you. i mean not one single soul has survived death, and nobody has the video footage of a glimpse into the paradise. so why waste time pondering over the state of afterlife? that knowledge is forbidden to mankind.

every man has two arenas to face all his life. one, which is under his control and acting on which shall yield him results. the other is that which is beyond his control and on which he has no authority to alter — death is one such area; what your neighbor thinks about you is another. yet in most cases, the poor mortal is intimidated by the stuff that exceeds his capacity of control, and does very little about the things that he can reign over — starting with the man himself.

it is believed that all one needs to know is oneself.

“knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” — aristotle

now, wisdom might have a beginning, as per aristotle, but it certainly does not seem to have an end, for the vast amount of knowledge out there. but once you allow yourself into the whirlpool of learning, you activate your wisdom-wheel and the world appears to be a less intimidating entity, because then you free yourself of the dark shadows of ignorance. your inquisition will somehow turn on the lights.

this quest is all that humanity has. and this hope of achieving omniscience someday is what keeps us going.


to spectate without a skeptical eye is to endure a potato existence

you must have seen potato. the ugly, lame, and shapeless vegetable. potatoes don’t question a thing. they’re almost colorless and easily blendable with almost everything.

that’s the image that comes across my mind when i witness the urban crowd with their office bags rushing for work every morning. man was not always like that. oh no. he was once a free soul. there were times when man was independent, working for himself in the countryside, fishing in the morning, sleeping in the afternoon, playing with his kids in the evening, and partying at night with drinks, music, and dance. man was happy. how did the man become a potato then? how?

well, industrialization and globalization through capitalism has taken its toll on man. money has become the supreme value of existence. the idea of capitalism is strategically placed in this world by some cunning fellas that wish to reign it over. why, if man is always after making a living for himself and his family, he has no time to wonder about existential concerns or to question his allowed rights or responsibilities. in a communist state though, man is free of the obligations of earning and can sustain on the collective surplus. thus here he has all the time to ponder over meaninglessness of his existence on earth.

similar is the case of sports. national and international level sports and games were invented to keep people’s attention away from the important concerns of the world so that man remains busy in entertaining himself with the sports watching the idiot box while his country’s wealth is being taken over by a hefty few. the people in power know exactly how to keep the people happy and silent.

the art of deception is lucidly played against the people. media is another huge machinery working under this deception. poor potatoes who believe in media are kept in the dark by diversion of their attention to trivial matters. the people remain aloof to the most important issues at hand and are not at all skeptical about the government’s moves, which ultimately works against the people, as the government remains unquestioned.

today’s man, thus, has been successfully turned into a potato. his vegetable existence does not raise questions of any considerable weight. he is always engaged in his daily mundane activities like a Sisyphus at work with herd mentality. whatever little time he gets, after securing a three time meal for himself and his family, is spent carelessly over the idiot box that keeps up with his potatoic idiocy.

where is the question of questioning then? and what is the need? the world is still being run and it will continue to find its runners in future too. the potatoes must not give a fuck. after all, nobody follows the constitution and it is not actually the potatoes that are in power as it says; they are merely puppets at the hands of the rulers, the so-called servants. so the potatoes sit back and relax, and stop thinking about it altogether while the national health and wealth is put at stake.









what is the meaning of life

can you answer that? i cannot. i tried it for like a million times to answer this one single question and was never satisfied with the answer.

some say that we should not raise this question at all, as it is futile to ask such questions that have no answers and that life itself is as futile as the question. it is strange that even after 4,000 years of civilization, man is yet to completely comprehend life. everyone has their own definition of this ever changing ocean of perceptions — life. those who have attempted to define it have merely taken one single perspective, and hence life becomes an unfathomable subject.

let’s give it a try still. there are basically two ways to look at life — biological and philosophical.

biological way differentiates living beings from the non-living ones, i.e. living beings are born, they grow, and they die; non-living beings do not grow or develop, they don’t die — never — and so they don’t have a life.

now, the philosophical way is the toughest part. it was okay if the human species had not developed a philosophical intellect like other animals who do not wonder as to why they exist or the purpose of life. such a state would have saved us a lot of time to be more productive and less contemplating. but that humans can think philosophically is a reason why we get to ask such questions that have no answers.

life may just be a random story of existence. energy and nature simply developed one day and created life, and now they don’t give a damn. ever observed how indifferent this universe is to our desires, feelings and emotions? still people believe in god. god, like life, is another area full of questions. basically, humans have named nature and energy as god, something larger than life. and so every religion talks about the same superpower that cannot be seen but is present. you may call it — nature and energy — out of which life emerged.

another question that usually haunt all of us mortals is — “what am i doing with my life?” also — “whether what i am doing is the only thing that i can do or do i have better alternatives?” it’s always chaos up there in our heads.

life is like a timeline that is going to end one day. basically, ‘time’ and ‘life’ are one and the same thing. although time is eternal and life is transient. but on a subjective plain, even time is transient. we do not have all the time in the world. no! we’re merely mortals destined to die and sometimes it’s tough to truly take cognizance of this fact. it’s only when our hair turn grey and our bones go weaker that we somehow get an idea about this uncertainty of life and certainty of death. while we are young and happy, we believe that we would remain so for eternity as if we are immortals. how utterly foolish are we!

once you fully understand that you have a very ‘limited time’, it becomes easier. then, it is all about how you spend this ‘limited time’, i.e. ‘life’ — that’s what it’s all about — nothing else. your choices become important then. what you choose would define you and your life, because what you choose would occupy your ‘limited time’ — your life.

but that’s again only one way to look at life. there are numerous other as well. actually, everyone has a unique way to look at life that changes with time and that’s the beauty of life.